Journaling:
There was a time, not too long ago, when I believed that the world was a good place. Good things happen to good people, bad things to bad, right? Well, not exactly. Not anymore.
The world is a scary, evil place. There are days I cannot even get myself to read the news because the knot in my stomach is too tight and I cannot bear to hear any more bad news. But there’s no running away. A dear friend of mine was
brutally attacked and I will bring with me forever the shock and dread I proved when I first heard about it. That was the day I finally understood, and there’s no going back.
Most of the bad news we read in the papers don’t happen to criminals who were bound to end up that way. They happen to nice, normal people like us too. And it is so scary.
When I was little, I loved to ride the bus in my city and look at all the people walking on the street, wondering who they were and regretting not being able to get to know them all. Now, I think I was such a fool back then. Now, I keep away from people as much as possible. Keep at a safe distance to feel safer, but is anybody ever safe?
I don’t know if this fear will ever leave me. I hope one day to gain back a brighter view of the world. I long for that naive attitude to come back. I am hoping it is just buried beneath all the horror and waiting to resurface.
I long to reconcile the sheer happiness and contentment I feel about my personal little world with the dread of the big world. I long to find that balance.
But I can no longer be deceived. The world is not a happy place. I really don’t buy that anymore.

Credits:
Background: black paper from Mod Me by Jacque Larsen blended with newspaper print paper from Capture the Moment by Kate Hadfield and Designs by Liii
Fonts: SS Whimsy, CK Cursive